After being delivered from fear of their faces…

The rest of the story; to be continued, I suspect.

20 September 2022

Lately I’ve been thinking back to all the people I’ve talked to since being delivered from “fear of their faces” in the summer of 1972.

(See https://estherspetition.wordpress.com/2014/06/28/fear-of-their-faces-2/)

All the Bible college classes I’ve taught. All the Sunday School classes. The public addresses (teaching, preaching, or speaking on a variety of subjects) to small and large crowds, even whole congregations (GOP, Christian Coalition).

The personal interviews I’ve done with new business clients (Executive Services and S.C. Family Memories), civic group and club addresses to talk about the need to preserve family histories for our children, grandchildren, and future generations. Television interviews given for the same reason, with a host I’d never met before.

I thought about all the on-air interviews I’d done with guests from every aspect of the business, social and political world here in South Carolina, on my very own talk radio program (Talk With Bette; my husband Tim was my program director). Hospital presidents, college presidents, businessmen and women, chairs of civic clubs, representatives of state organizations, candidates for political office or elected officials themselves.

Then there are the many interviews I did while serving as a volunteer with OM Ships, talking with total strangers in two foreign countries (Iceland and Germany), as well as on board two ships operated by OM Ships (Logos II and Logos Hope).

I campaigned for (and won) a position on the South Carolina Commission on Women, where I had to appear for confirmation before an argumentative SC Senate Committee Hearing. Some people didn’t want me confirmed because of my pro-life stance on women’s issues. I also campaigned for an appointment to the SC Board of Education, not as complicated to win but not automatic either.

The formal meetings of both those groups were with people I had never met. Discussions could be heated and lengthy, so many issues were far from simple!

I ran twice and won twice for the office of First Vice Chairman of the South Carolina Republican Party, when our current Governor was Chairman. I had opposition from another faithful (but not pro-life) GOP member. Campaigning was active, meeting and persuading many GOP representatives from across the state to support me. I was nominated and campaigned to serve as a Presidential Elector in the 1996 Presidential election for the SC 6th Congressional District. I won that election also — I had no opposition!

During all those years Tim and I helped to recruit and then assisted other candidates to run for office, requiring many working committee meetings, emails and phone conversations with newly-met people.

Then there were the non-profit organizations that Tim and I founded and ran, including one against legalizing video poker in SC (won that one), another opposing a South Carolina lottery (lost that one, unfortunately). Both required talking to a great many people one-on-one or in groups.

Most of all those were people I had never met before. While making a number of new friends along the way, there were many I would never see again. But being with them I experienced no shyness, no panic attacks, no fear of any kind! Sometimes I’d have a little “nervousness,” a feeling that I soon came to realize was actually the anointing of the Holy Spirit to do a work he had called me to do. And has called me to keep doing!

Teaching, preaching, sharing, caring (and writing, too) are callings of God. Assignments that require listening, hearing, understanding, and obeying that still small voice that first whispered my name as a little girl. “Bette,” he would call. For years I ignored him, put him off, tried to explain it away as merely my imagination.

In 1972 I finally answered that voice, asked him to be Lord of my life, and things have never been the same since!

Who are we in Christ?

We were created by God in his own image to be his own child, to do what He wants, when, where and how He wants, in order to get the results He wants.

And He made us with free will to choose to be and do that, or not.

Since starting this study, almost every day the Holy Spirit brings me another scripture with another facet of our identity in Christ to add to my notes. The following is in sort of a haphazard order, despite my attempts to make a logical step-by-step list.

I’m sure there are other descriptions and scriptures that could be added so I’m not going to publish this as “all inclusive.” Now and then He tells me, “It will ALL be helpful, you’ll see,” so I keep listening, keep studying, keep praying, and typing.

(If you get bored with this long list, just quit reading, but please don’t quit thinking about this subject, or asking the Lord for yourself: WHO AM I? He’ll find a way to answer you.)

How we live our daily lives, how we share God’s word, how we witness, even how we pray and intercede, are all related to that one essential question:

Who are we in Christ?

• “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
• We are in Christ, everything else is derived from that truth. “For in him we live, and move, and have our being.” Acts 17:28, John 14:20
• We are also inhabited by God: (1) by the Father, (2) by Jesus, and (3) by the Holy Spirit, John 14:17-23. All the Trinity make their home inside us.
• We were created in God’s image, Genesis 1:27
• Chosen, (1) He hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love, Ephesians 1:4; (2) God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth, 2 Thessalonians 2:13; (3) you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light, 1 Peter 2:9
• Forgiven of all sins, Colossians 2:13-14
• Free, not condemned, Romans 8:1-2
• Saved by grace, God’s free gift to us, Ephesians 2:8
• … through faith, also a gift from God, Ephesians 2:8
• … faith that comes by hearing and believing God’s word, Romans 10:17
• … his own faith was offered by Jesus to the disciples and to us, Mark 11:22
• We are now the righteousness of God, 2 Corinthians 5:21
• Made an entirely new creation, 2 Corinthians 5:17
• Sons of God, adopted; also led by the Holy Spirit, Romans 8:14-16
• Heirs of God, joint heirs with Christ, Romans 8:17
• Made one spirit with Him, I Corinthians Cor. 6:17
• Friends of Jesus, John 15:13-15, also see 2 Chronicles 20:7, Isaiah 41:8, James 2:23
• Taught by the Holy Spirit, who will also bring back to our remembrance whatever Jesus taught us; He will also show us the future, John 14:26
• God’s workmanship, Ephesians 2:10, also see verse 8
• Being changed (metamorphosized) from glory to glory, 2 Corinthians 3:18, also see Colossians 1:27
• Unfinished; God began a good work in me and will continue to perform it, Philippians 1:6;
• A life-long learner; I am continually learning and adding to what I have received and know, 2 Peter 1:3-8
• God’s workers to do what he ordained for us beforehand, Ephesians 2:10
• Co-laborers (co-workers) with God to do those things, 1 Corinthians 3:9; also see 2 Corinthians 6:1
• As Jesus is, so are we in this world, I John 4:17
• Imitators of God and of Christ, the word “followers” is literally translated imitators, Ephesians 5:1
• Imitators of Paul as he imitates Christ, I Corinthians 4:16, 11:1
• Seated with Christ in the heavenly places, Ephesians 2:6, also see 1:20-23
• Spiritual warriors, 2 Corinthians 10:3-6; in a war, whether we know it or not
• Armed and armored, Ephesians 6:11-17
• More than conquerors, Romans 8:37-39

What is our assignment?

• Replenish planet earth, subdue it and have dominion over it, Genesis 1:26-28
• Seek the kingdom of God, Matthew 6:33, Luke 12:31-32, which is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,” Romans 14:17
• Because “It is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:31-32
• Reign with him on earth now, in this lifetime, Romans 5:17, Revelation 5:10; 20:4-6; 22:5
• Do what Jesus did, i.e make disciples, teach them to observe what he commanded the first disciples: (1) preach the kingdom, (2) heal the sick, (3) cleanse the lepers, (4) raise the dead, and (5) cast out demons; Matthew 28:18-20
• Do even greater works, i.e. deeds, than Jesus did, John 14:12-13
• Do the works ordained by God for us beforehand, Ephesians 2:10
• Be co-workers with him, I Corinthians 3:9; 2 Corinthians 6:1
• Be ambassadors for him, 2 Corinthians. 5:20
• God is in us to will and to do his good pleasure; allow him to do that, Philippians 2:13
• Do everything in love, I Corinthians 16:14 (agape, God-kind of love)
• Walk (live, behave) in love, Ephesians 5:2
• Give thanks in everything – no matter what happens around us, there are always things to be thankful for, I Thessalonians 5:18
• Offer the sacrifice of praise, Hebrews 13:15
• Pray without ceasing, I Thessalonians 5:17
• Pray in the Spirit, Ephesians 6:18
• Pray with all prayer and supplication, Ephesians 6:18
• Pray God’s will and then we know we have what we requested, I John 5:14-15
• Receive answers to prayer, thus receiving fullness of joy, John 15:11, 16:24
• Note: many scriptures instruct believers to pray. None say pray for the sick, however, except for James 5:14: a sick person should call for the elders of the church who will anoint him with oil and then they pray over him. Jesus commanded disciples to heal the sick, not pray for the sick.

How can we do that?

• Know God and Jesus, John 17:3
• Be led by the Holy Spirit, Romans 8:14-16
• Receive faith, Mark 11:22, Ephesians 2:8, Romans 10:17
• Live by faith, Romans 1:17, Galatians 3:11, Galatians 2:20
• Receive the baptism (and thus God’s power – dunamis) of the Holy Spirit, Acts 1:8
• Be being filled with the Holy Spirit; this is a continuous verb, not a one-time event, Ephesians 5:18
• Be a co-laborer with God, not a “lone ranger,” 1 Corinthians 3:9
• Know who we are in Christ, know who God is and who the enemy is, John 10:10
• Know our authority on the earth, Matthew 10:1, Luke 9:1, the same as the original disciples / apostles, Matthew 28:18-20
• He gave them power and authority, Luke 9:1, 10:17-19, the 70 returned in joy; he gave them authority over all the power of the enemy; also applies to us
• Fight the good fight of faith, 1 Timothy 6:12
• Submit to God, then resist the devil, and he will flee from you, James 4:7
• Resist the devil steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world, I Peter 5:9
• Desire all the gifts of the Holy Spirit, I Corinthians 12-14
• Covet the best spiritual gifts (i.e. most appropriate for the need) I Corinthians 12:31; especially covet to prophesy, I Corinthians 14:39
• Expect Jesus to manifest himself to us, John 14:21
• Abide in him, allow his word to abide in us; then we can ask and it is done, John 15:7
• Be transformed (metamorphosized) by the renewing, i.e. renovation of the mind (Greek word nous, way of thinking and understanding), Romans 12:2
• We have the mind of Christ, his way of thinking and understanding as he is in us, 1 Corinthians 2:16
• Take advantage of the information, training and equipment available in God’s word, 2 Peter 1:3-8
• Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might, Ephesians 6:10
• Be spiritually armed and armored with the whole armor of God, Ephesians 6:11-17
• Realize that we can do all things through Christ, Philippians 4:13
• Allow the fruit of the spirit to grow and develop in our lives, Galatians 5:22-24
• Allow the Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth, John 16:13
• Live and walk (act, behave) in the spirit, Galatians 5:25
• Continue living and acting by the spirit, not by keeping the law, “O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you? This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?” Galatians 3:1-3
• Be patient after doing the will of God, Hebrews 10:36
• Let patience do its perfect work so we will lack nothing, James 1:4
• Be patient with joyfulness, Colossians 1:11
• Be anxious for nothing, Philippians 4:6
• Do not be troubled or afraid, John 14:27, 1 John 4:18
• Let the peace of God rule in our heart, Colossians 3:15
• Be humble, 1 Peter 5:5-6
• Don’t think more highly of yourself than you should, Romans 12:3

Also see:

Paul’s prayers, good examples to pray for ourselves and others:

• Be enriched in utterance and knowledge, 1 Corinthians 1:4-8
• Have the spirit of wisdom and revelation, understanding the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints (Christians), Ephesians 1:16-19
• Be strengthened… comprehend… filled with the fullness of God; read entire passage, Ephesians 3:14-19
• Know and understand God’s will, Colossians 1:9,
• Be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, Ephesians 5:17
  

Not everything that happens is God’s will

“Woe unto them who call evil, good, and good, evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”           Isaiah 5:20

A few years ago, the Sunday School class I attended was studying the account of Jesus and the disciples, the boat and the storm. (Matthew 8, Mark 4)

They were all in a boat headed to the other side of the Sea of Galilee when a bad storm came up. Jesus was taking a nap and the panic-stricken disciples woke him up, saying “Master, carest thou not that we perish?” (Mark 4:38)

Jesus got up, rebuked the storm stopping it in its tracks, and then rebuked the disciples for their lack of faith. (They could have stopped the storm themselves, without waking him up.)

One of the class members commented, “God must have been trying to kill Jesus with the storm, but then Jesus cancelled out God’s will by stopping the storm.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. I asked her, “You don’t believe Jesus was God?” “Well, yes,” she said, “but everything that happens is God’s will, isn’t it?”

She looked puzzled when I strongly disagreed. The notion that everything bad and evil happening in the world is God’s will, his design, his doing — is calling evil, good, and good, evil.

God created man to have a will of his own, gave him authority to use it, and has never taken that authority back. God did not force Adam and Eve to disobey a direct command. He doesn’t force me, or you, or Hitler, or Jeffrey Dahmer, or a child rapist, or a terrorist, to commit evil.

It is not God’s will that any should perish but that all should come to repentance, (2 Peter 3:9), yet some people do perish.

We are instructed to pray for leaders and government authorities, because it’s God’s will for “all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.” (2 Timothy 2:4) But not all people will be saved.

People have a free will of their own and some use it to make the wrong choices. The devil didn’t make them do it, and God didn’t make them do it.

If everything that happened was God’s will, why bother to pray? Just let “Whatever will be, will be.” But then some other scriptures would have to be torn out of the Bible…

Like Ephesians 6:2, “Honor thy father and mother which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.” That’s number Five of the Ten Commandments, quoted from Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16.

Well, maybe the Ten Commandments don’t apply any more? Or maybe they don’t apply to everybody?

Or maybe they don’t apply in any real sense, just in a wishy-washy sense that only applies to some sort of group dynamic? Not to individual persons, just the whole of mankind that will survive while some individuals are slaughtered at God’s whim?

Hogwash.

Many “if” statements are found throughout the Bible. If you do this, that will happen. It’s the eternal law of sowing and reaping.

Long life is one of those “ifs.” Deuteronomy 6:2, “… that thy days may be prolonged.” Deuteronomy 11:9, “And that ye may prolong your days in the land…” If they obeyed God’s Word, that is. But they didn’t, and their days weren’t prolonged.

What about bad things happening to good people? If God isn’t behind everything, then is he powerless? NOT omnipotent after all? Couldn’t he do something to stop it, if it wasn’t his will?

Yes, if God wanted to change himself, become an Indian-giver and a liar, he could. But he gave control of some things over to people.

We have an enemy, Satan, who hates God and us. He’s real; a real liar and a real murderer. He will kill us if he can, steal from us whatever he can take and destroy anything he can’t take. (John 10:10.)

Satan is the accuser, the liar, the deceiver, the murderer, and the leader-astray, but he can’t make us do anything against our will. He can certainly suggest sin, demonstrate how to do it and promise to reward it, but in the end he will be destroyed. Those who side with him will be destroyed, too.

Creator God told us to do certain specific things. He made promises and provisions to those who are in Christ. The global, spiritual warfare is real, the devastation is real, the pain is real, but God’s power is even more real. He loves to demonstrate that power through the lives of his people. If they will let him!

If prayer was useless and “que sera, sera” was true, why would we be told to pray so many times? If faith was powerless, why did Jesus urge the disciples to have God’s faith? If death and disaster was God’s will, why did God send the Holy Spirit and gifts of healing and miracles?

The choice to believe is ours, and I choose to believe God is good, his mercy endures forever, and his Word is true. Mark 11:23-24 is true. Mark 9:23 is true. Matthew 17:20 is true.

The problem isn’t in God or in his Word. The problem is in those who fall for the “que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be” nonsense and won’t pay the price to believe. Faith is ours for the taking, but it comes with a responsibility and a job description.

When somebody gets sick and dies, it’s easier to say it must have been God’s will and excuse unbelief, than to take responsibility for failure. The disciples failed, after all — they tried to cast out a demon from a sick child and failed. (Mark 9:14-29)

Jesus came along, took care of the problem, then explained to the disciples what they needed to do differently. Pray with fasting. Do you suppose they ignored Jesus after that and simply quit praying for the sick? I don’t think so.

Jerry Savelle came to Florence many years ago for a series of meetings about healing. He recalled an incident when a man complained to him, “Brother Jerry, you prayed for brother so and so, and he died!”

Jerry explained, “Everybody I pray for will die sooner or later, but that doesn’t excuse me from praying for him or for the next fellow,” and it doesn’t excuse us either.

(This article is from the Archives; originally titled Que Sera)

Another spirit of fear: heights

Fear of people had seemed to be a lifelong problem for me. (See link below). Fear of heights, not so much.

As a grammar school kid spending summers with my grandparents, trees were just one of those big toys God put in their yard for me to play with, in, on, atop, you get the picture.

Chinaberry trees were wonderful habitats for imaginative boys and girls. Hide and seek? Cops and robbers? Cowboys and Indians? Spies and secret agents?

Leafy branches, hard green Chinaberries for slingshot ammunition, tobacco twine and empty tin cans for telephones — what more did you need? Clamber up the nearest branch, climb like monkeys to higher branches, crouch behind the trunk, await your “enemy” and let ’em have it! Play, play, play, having lots of fun all summer long.

There were sawdust piles to climb, the ladder to the hay loft in the barn, the roof top over the horse (really granddaddy’s mule) stable, oodles of climbing opportunities. None of them brought on even the slightest hint of fear to me, for quite a few fun-filled summers.

There was a church camp in the North Carolina Mountains that my whole family attended one summer. A late morning activity for the older kids (probably age 10 or so) was climbing one of the smaller hills to the very top, a well-marked trail, lots of handholds, twists and turns along the way with a helpful adult guide to lead us up.

No sweat! No problem! The view from the top was spectacular, the hills and mountains really were blue! Who knew! It was so beautiful, I would have done it again and again.

But the next summer, disaster struck. My grandparents took me with them on a vacation road trip along the Blue Ridge Parkway. Remembering those lovely blue-shaded hills and mountains, the adventure seemed so inviting, I was thrilled they had asked me.

Then came our first stop, at a North Carolina overlook. Granddaddy pulled off the road onto a grassy area, pointing out the beautiful cliffs and valleys and peaks and trees and — no guard rails. “Look, see how pretty?” But I didn’t see pretty. What I saw was disaster. My head began spinning, my balance went off, and I felt compelled to run to the edge of the cliff and jump off.

Fear struck me like a shotgun blast. First I clung to the car door, then sunk onto the floorboards of the back seat, crouching with my knees to my chin, where I rode the rest of that trip. I shook, cried, and kept my eyes squeezed tightly shut. Mercifully my dumbfounded grandparents made the rest of the trip much shorter than planned.

Was that the beginning? No doubt. There was no more summer time tree-climbing fun for me. Even a step stool in the kitchen was too much, I was terrified to attempt getting something off a cabinet shelf. A full fledged panic attack would ensue, although no-one called it that in those days. I knew, I just knew, I would fall, break my neck and die.

As a teenager and young adult the fear was manageable, simply because I never climbed a kitchen step stool or anything else, for any reason. Making use of lower kitchen and bathroom shelves was reasonable; they were reachable. Upper shelves were either empty or used by others in my family. Never me. Front door and back door house steps or school staircases weren’t fun, but they had sturdy hand rails!

I got married in 1961, had two children, and one day in the 1970’s a huge WWII cargo plane flew into our local airport and the public was invited to come take a look inside. Of course, we had to go see it!

And of course, I discovered that to see inside the cockpit and cargo compartment, you had to ascend a very tall, tall ladder. I stared a long time at that plane, my excited kids raring to go. I got in line with them (and half of Florence, it seemed) and when it came our turn, I stepped up one rung — and froze.

Cold sweat. Pounding pulse. Shortness of breath. I just couldn’t do it.

I let my husband and the kids go ahead and I backed up. Way, way back, behind the crowd where I turned my back to the people, embarrassed for anyone to look at my face. Eventually my family found me, we went home and that was that.

Standing in my living room, my husband said mockingly, “How do you plan to get to heaven?” I couldn’t answer him. Tears running down my cheeks, I knew something had to give.

I had been a Christian for years. I’d re-dedicated my life to the Lord in 1972. I’d been delivered from one horrible fear that same year.  How could this be happening? I knew the scriptures (2 Timothy 1:7); I knew that believers just weren’t supposed to be afraid like this. And so that night I prayed. And prayed. I fell asleep praying.

When I awoke I really didn’t feel any different, but I took the Lord at his word and chose to believe that this tormenting, humiliating fear of heights was gone — just like the fear of their faces had gone, a year earlier.

A few days after that, a friend’s husband called — “Bette, I just got qualified on a larger plane, you want to come take a ride around Florence?” Bob, a member of the local CAP, was inviting several friends to take a short plane ride around town and wanted to include me. He knew nothing of my fear, didn’t know my spiritual teeth were gritted as I said, Sure, I’d love to. I was saying to God, we’re going to find out if prayer works or not!

I had no problem climbing into the plane, it was only ground level. Two friends climbed into rear seats, a dad and his little boy. Bob checked to be sure we were all buckled in tight, took the pilot’s seat and began the plane’s slow trek to the outer runway. The engine revved up, zoom down the runway we went and up, up into the air!

We weren’t far off the ground when my door popped open. I could see beautiful blue sky, but fear didn’t grip me! This is interesting, I thought – no fear! Bob just pushed the door further out, then slammed it shut good. We enjoyed ten or fifteen minutes touring around our town and the outskirts, Bob pointing out what we were looking at. Things look a lot different from overhead, we discovered. Nobody knew what I was thinking, thanking and praising the Lord — no nervous twinges, no nothing.

We were a bit sorry when it was time to come back to earth. Bob chatted with the control tower, got a few instructions and down to the runway we came. And bounced. The plane bounced up off the tarmac quite a few feet, and Bob headed the plane further up; we would have to circle the airport and try again.

My friend and his son in the back seat had become pretty quiet. Bob was talking with the control tower again and I was thinking, Wow, that was something. Wow! But no fear, no nervous twinges, I had only a bit of excitement at my own mental state — I had indeed been delivered of fear, once again!

The second try at landing was smooth and uneventful, we all thanked Bob profusely for the ride, the landing adventure, and especially we thanked the Lord for keeping us all safe!

Not long afterward my church asked me to chaperone a group of teenagers on a Carowinds trip. The excited, laughing teens wanted me to join them on all the tall rides and roller coasters — something I’d never, ever been able to do before. But I did it, over, and over that day. It was wonderful.

Since then, I’ve traveled in small private planes (locally), commuter planes (between Florence, Atlanta, Charlotte, etc.), larger passenger jets (to New York, Minneapolis, Boston), and international jets (to Iceland and Germany). There were quite a few adventures along the way on those trips, but fear wasn’t included.

Several years ago my brother Harold invited me to accompany him on a photography trip up the Blue Ridge Parkway, continuing onto the Shenandoah Parkway in Virginia.

For several days we traveled, stopped and took photographs, some from close to the edge of a drop-off. Here’s one I took.

There was no fear. No nervousness. No twinges! Just gratitude, praise and thanksgiving to my good, good God for his mercy and deliverance.

Are you fearful? Of speaking to people, of heights, anything else? Did you think you were just “born that way?” I truly doubt anyone is ever just born that way. But evil spirits are like fleas, or ticks. They find opportunities to attach themselves to people, even Christians, for purposes of harassment and prevention. Stealing your joy.

They prevent you from doing what Father God wants you to do, from participating in events He wants you to enjoy, stopping you from witnessing to his great power to deliver, helping get other people free. Don’t let the enemy get away with it!

If you would like me to pray with you, please just ask.

(See https://estherspetition.wordpress.com/2014/06/28/fear-of-their-faces-testimony-part-three/)

Offenses hinder prayer

Unresolved Offenses Hinder Prayer

“Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.”
Psalm 119:165

“Harboring unforgiveness, resentment or bitterness is like swallowing poison and hoping the other guy dies.”

One night as I was praying for faithful people still struggling with health or family problems, I was wondering (asking the Lord), why haven’t they been healed yet, or had a positive breakthrough in their families?

I knew the usual reasons – weak or wobbly faith, unbelief, doubt, fear, and overt or covert sin being the primary ones. None of those seemed to apply here.

Were positive answers in the will of God? Yes, I am certain they are. Are the hindrances in me? In the needy person? Or both? So I kept on praying, meditating, and asking the Lord to show me the reasons.

“Offenses,” the Holy Spirit said.

The Greek word for offense is skandalon:

(1) A trap or snare. A hunter may use one, and we know an enemy who is hunting, seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)
(2) Any impediment placed in the way and causing one to stumble or fall, (a stumbling block, occasion of stumbling) i.e. a rock which is a cause of stumbling.

Jesus called Peter an offense to him, because Peter’s ideas of what Messiah should be and do were so different from what Jesus was describing. (Matthew 16:21-23.)

The Lord began showing me a list of specific, hurtful, offensive things that had happened in the past, either to me, or by me, or in the life of the people I’ve been praying for. No matter whose life they had affected, our prayers were being hindered.

Some of these offenses had been dealt with in the past, supposedly, but “reminders” would pop up now and then and an old hurt would be felt again, memories still buried deep in the brain’s memory banks. The list included the following:

• • Unforgiveness on your part, no matter how horribly bad the other person’s acts or words were, no matter how strongly you feel that they don’t deserve forgiveness.
  • Unforgiveness from someone else towards you, whether you did anything wrong or not, not resolved by explanations or apologies.
  • Memories of personal attacks, bad actions or words spoken against you and perhaps to you in the past.
  • Resentment of other people’s bad behaviors or words to you, or about you to other people.
  • Bitterness about being mistreated unfairly, whether it was deliberate or not.
  • Being taken for granted; made to feel “put upon,” misused, given more responsibilities or burdens than others who should be helping but aren’t.
  • Selfish pride, ego.
  • Misunderstandings, no matter whose side it started on, never straightened out.
  • Being robbed or abused, physically, materially, emotionally or socially.
  • Jealousy, on your part or against you on someone else’s part, deserved or undeserved. This is different from godly envy.
  • Unresolved anger, sadness or grief at being misunderstood, mistreated, cheated, i.e. sinned against.
  • Suspicion – not spiritual discernment – of someone’s motives, finding fault with them without a real cause. Avoiding them because of this.
  • Not praying for your enemies, or for your “frenemies,” because you don’t feel you can do it in faith so why bother to do it at all.
  • Believing you can’t do it, whatever it is, because you’re not good enough, clean enough, anointed enough, educated enough, trusted enough, whatever, thus you don’t even attempt, because you just know you’d fail.
  • Not using the authority of the believer given to you by God; not exercising the power of the Holy Spirit as He directs.
  • Believing a lie from the enemy – this affliction must be God’s will.
  • Fear of being ridiculed or losing something important – a relationship, reputation, position, etc.
  • An important one – underestimating the limitless grace of God.

There may be others. One thing they all have in common: They are triggered by words. Negative words. Some are whispered words from the enemy, not your own voice but masquerading as yours. All that brought up an important question:

How do these offenses hinder our prayers?

“They are spiritual leeches,” the Lord said. And then he showed me what they do in the natural – leeches, and ticks, and fleas. Here’s what I learned:

Leeches, ticks and fleas:

• • As leeches bite, they inject anesthetic, so you don’t even know what they are doing to you. Then they begin sucking blood out of you, little by little (remember, life is in the blood, and with it strength, energy, faith, confidence, assurance, all spiritual abilities, including discernment of what the enemy is doing.) They also can inject diseases, viral and bacterial, diseases which can kill you if not detected and treated, such as HIV, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and others.
  • Ticks also inject saliva which exhibits cytolytic, vasodilator, anticoagulant, anti-inflammatory, and immunosuppressive activity. Many species can transmit diseases to animals and people, such as Lyme disease, ehrlichiosis, Rocky Mountain spotted fever and tularemia.
  • Fleas likewise inject saliva which contains anticoagulants to keep the blood flowing and an enzyme to keep blood from clotting at the wound site. Fleas also carry diseases that can be transmitted through bites, such as flea-borne spotted fever, plague, typhus, and cat scratch fever.

All that was eye-opening and disturbing, to say the least. They are draining our faith, confidence, assurance, peace of mind, leaving uneasiness, being unsettled mentally, emotionally or spiritually, and resulting in unanswered prayers. My next question was,

How can we deal with such offenses?

His reply was just one word: FORGIVENESS. He reminded me that forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision – and an excellent spiritual disinfectant and “pest control.”

Let’s get practical:

1. Ask the Lord to reveal specific things, then deal with each one as they come to mind.
2. Forgive others, forgive yourselves, ask forgiveness where needed if still possible, and if not extended or not possible, forgive them for NOT forgiving you.
3. Refuse to harbor bitterness, resentment or grudges. Repentance is a good remedy for those. If a thought, image or feeling about a past offense arises again, (remember, Satan is the father is lies, deception, illusions, delusions), deliberately visualize yourself kicking that things right off a cliff to its demise.
4. As often as you need to, deliberately do this again, reminding the enemy that it has been dealt with. Any remembrance of it that he brings up is another lie.
5. Replace it with spiritual memories, God’s word, His promise of life, healing, health and wholeness to you. Personal answered prayers in the past, testimonies of others’ answered prayers.
6. Use scriptural reminders regarding forgiveness; look verses up, write them down, read them to yourself and remind the Liar in Chief of them often. He loves to interfere with our prayers; don’t let him get away with it.
7. And keep “short accounts,” that is, deal with anything offensive as it occurs; don’t put it off.

Offer Father God praise, worship, and thanksgiving, even when you don’t feel like it. He is worthy!

A little learning is a dangerous thing!

What you don’t know will kill you.

    You know?
    What do you know?
    Who do you know?
    How do you know?

Everyday phrases like those seem to abound about knowing something. But what about NOT knowing something?

“If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know.” (I Cor. 8:2 NASB)

Knowledge is defined as facts, truth, information, data; skills acquired through experience. Are those things important? Sure. More important than intuition? More essential than gut feelings? Yes and no.

When authentic (God-defined), knowledge has to be the foundation of our faith, set firmly in place before intuition or gut feelings can be depended on. The Holy Spirit can and does inform, lead and guide by what we might call intuition or gut feelings, but his advice relies completely on God’s word.

If you were to look over text books from a few hundred years ago, you’d see that some “facts” aren’t always factual, scientific “truth” isn’t always correct, and certain “data” sets have changed over the years.

Hecataeus of Miletus believed the Earth was flat and surrounded by water. He ridiculed the belief that water encircled the world, yet most classicists agree he still believed the Earth was flat because of his descriptions of literal “ends” or “edges” of the Earth. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth)

Even skills acquired through experience can be changed by further experience. Those funds of knowledge have been adjusted, adapted, even edited over the years.

But God’s word is unchanging. It’s actually alive, dependable, trustworthy and faithful. (I Peter 1:25; Hebrews 4:12)

God places a high value on a certain fund of knowledge: his word. Not just bits and pieces of his word, but the whole, the complete, taken in context, meditated on, digested, lived by. Everything we need to succeed as his children is contained in it. (II Peter 1:2-8)

There’s one problem; assumptions sometimes take the place of actual knowledge of the scriptures. Partial knowledge takes the place of whole understanding. Here’s one example:

I Corinthians 2:9 says, “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

That verse is often quoted. It sounds really deep, really holy, really true, doesn’t it?

However, verse 10 says, “But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit; for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.”

Here’s another example:

John 8:32 says, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” That’s another frequently quoted verse, spoken by Christian and secular people alike. But it’s only the last half of a sentence.

The first half reads, “Then said Jesus to those Jews who believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;” Without the first half, the last half isn’t really true.

Hosea 4:6 says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” And Isaiah 5:13 says, “Therefore my people are gone into captivity, because they have no knowledge…”

That helps explain why many believers live beneath God’s best for them. Something critically important is missing in their life.

Missing with many believers is the knowledge and understanding of who we are in Christ, and the authority we have been given through the indwelling Holy Spirit. If you don’t know you have it, you certainly won’t exercise it.

Then too, believing the wrong thing, trusting on faulty or false knowledge will also lead to not exercising the authority and power God has delegated to us. (That’s especially true in our speech.)

Some critical truths for believers to learn, to know, and to act on:

1. Greater things than Jesus did will we do.
2. As he is in the world, so are we.
3. Prayer is not begging God to do something he has told US to do, he has told us plainly to do certain things. Prayer is finding out what God wants prayed and praying that: his will.
4. Words are destructive or creative, therefore speak creatively. Speak life: command, declare, decree what God wants in the circumstances.
5. If you keep saying what you’ve got, you’ll keep getting what you’ve got.
6. You have an enemy stalking you, using stealth weapons. He disguises himself, of course.
7. Those include ignorance, doubt, unbelief, half-truths; believing lies about your identity, your ability, your assignment.

Scripture references:

1. “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater [works] than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.” (John 14:12 KJV)

2. “Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.” (I John 4:17)

3 (a). “Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.” (Eph. 5:17)

“For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;” (Col. 1:9)

3 (b). “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.” (Matt. 10:8)

“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” (Matt. 28:20)

“And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following. Amen.” (Mark 16:20)

Note: The Lord can’t confirm something that isn’t preached…

4. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (Prov. 18:21)

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” (James 3:10)

5. See Number 4!

6. “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.” (I Peter 5:8-9)

“Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” (II Cor. 2:11)

“And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.” (II Cor. 11:14)

7. “For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.” (Mark 11:23)

Worship; definition?

It was a mid-week church service, sometime in the early 1980’s.

Who was preaching? I don’t remember. Who was leading the singing? I have no memory of that. Who was playing the pipe organ, the piano, the drums and guitars? I can’t recall that either. Who was present? A few relatives, a few friends, myself and many others whose names I didn’t know. I was only a visitor, not knowing what to expect.

What was happening? That I will never forget.

The main floor and the balcony of the sanctuary was filled that evening. The preliminaries had taken place – greetings, announcements, offering, followed by hymns and praise songs accompanied by enthusiastic clapping. The congregation had taken their seats. But then…

A complete hush fell over the congregation. The silence was so deep you could have heard a pin drop. Literally. It was as if a thick cloud had descended, cutting off every nuance of noise. No foot shuffling could be heard, no throat clearing, no nervous coughing, no nothing. The quality of light subtly changed from that provided by the ordinary church chandeliers to a brilliance I’d never seen before. It was hard to keep your head up or your eyes open.

After only a few moments it was also hard to stay in your seat. Many didn’t. People began to slip off the front pews and platform chairs onto the floor, out of the side pews into the aisle. No-one spoke. Nobody even seemed concerned about it. Everyone was too affected by the manifest presence of God in the room to take notice of their companions.

About half-way back on the left side of the building, my own row was too packed with people for me to move but I couldn’t raise my hands from my lap. I just basked in the soft, cherishing, comforting presence of the Lord.

What was it like? The closest I could describe was like being wrapped in a warm blanket, sitting on my mother’s lap and hugged close.

How long did it last? I never looked at my watch so I don’t know. But gradually the cloud began to lift. The people on the floor were helped back to their seats. The pastor got to his knees, then climbed to his feet holding onto the pulpit, but he couldn’t speak. Maybe he wanted to try to explain what had happened but I don’t think anyone was listening anyway.

Because the entire congregation was worshiping, telling Jesus how much they loved him, how much they adored him, how much they appreciated him. Some stood to their feet with arms raised and tears flowing down their face. Nobody wanted to leave that night and many of us lingered for a time, too awestruck to drive home yet.

As we milled around, we discovered that several miracle healings had occurred throughout the sanctuary. Nobody had laid hands on the sick or offered to pray, but as the presence and power of the Lord engulfed them the sick and hurt were made whole. Pneumonia in an elderly violin-maker – lungs completely cleared. A cracked elbow in my school teacher sister-in-law – bone completely healed.

That was my first experience of worshiping God in spirit and in truth in a church service. I’ve had similar worship experiences since then, in church buildings, convention centers, and the privacy of my own home. God instigated, they are not for his benefit, but for ours.

So, how would I define worship? Falling in love with the most precious, most beautiful, most wonderful, most worthy person that ever existed or ever will exist, knowing that he loves you back, and telling him how you feel.

(Originally published in 2015, reposted in 2017, but worth sharing again, I thought.)

Grief never dies.

Daddy died May 14, 1960. He was 46; I was 16. He had been scheduled for open heart surgery the following week, to replace a heart valve damaged by the rheumatic fever that daddy contracted during WWII. He’d had several heart attacks and was looking forward to regaining his health. But he had another heart attack in the middle of the night and this time, he died.

It was the night of my 11th grade Junior Prom, which I had reluctantly attended with some boy I didn’t really know, and whose name I can’t recall to this day. I had spent that evening sad, not knowing why, just sad. I’m sure my date had a miserable time.

I never recovered. I began dating guys mother didn’t approve of, marrying Paul when I was 18, basically to get away from my unhappy mother. He was loving, he was kind, he would give anyone a helping hand or give them the shirt off his back – when he was sober. Unfortunately he was an alcoholic.

Mother died June 22, 1970. She had never recovered from Daddy’s death. She had become a full-fledged alcoholic, in and out of rehab, wrecking her car, hurting herself, attempting suicide several times over the next nine years. She shot herself in the head on June 28, 1969. It was my daughter’s 4th birthday. Her concerned pastor and other church friends sat in her living room, unaware of her plans as she walked out into the back yard and fired the shot.

She lived in a nursing home for nearly a year, eventually dying of pneumonia. Her beautiful hazel eyes were open but she was non-responsive, non-moving, although a friend told me years later that she went often to visit and was sure mother heard her as she read the Bible to her and prayed. She was sure mother responded to her questions with eye blinks. I seldom went to see her, never talked to her, thinking that she herself simply wasn’t there, lying so still on that hospital bed.

For many years after mother’s death, I had nightmares every few months. Really it was the same nightmare: Mother was missing. In the dreams I was looking for her everywhere, going from house to house, friend to friend, relative to relative, business to business. Mother’s car was still in her front yard, her purse was still there in the house, but she wasn’t there. Sometimes other people were helping me look for her, sometimes she had just vanished that day; other times I was the only one still looking, she had been gone for a long time. The content was always the same: Mother was missing.

(It wasn’t until shortly after Tim died that those nightmares stopped happening. One night Father God graciously gave me a vision of heaven where I saw Tim, Mother, and Daddy living and working, full of joy and eternal life. I never had another of those nightmares after that.)

I never recovered. My marriage fell apart when my husband and I couldn’t just make things work. Several years later I met and married Tim, a wonderful man. With the Lord’s help we faced many challenges, especially Tim’s health problems.

Tim died December 15, 2006. He fell at home, broke his leg near the hip, had surgery to repair it, had a heart attack in the recovery room and lived one day. No-one had thought Tim wouldn’t recover; he always recovered! He’d had so many health problems in his life, but he always recovered! Until that day.

I never recovered. For days, even weeks, I couldn’t sleep in a dark house. I turned on every overhead light, every lamp throughout the house and slept – although I didn’t sleep much – with the lights on. I couldn’t drive down certain streets in town, I would take various detours to avoid familiar streets. I couldn’t shop on certain aisles in the grocery store; that’s where I used to buy Tim’s favorite foods.

I couldn’t do medical transcription for a certain doctor’s practice any more. He had been Tim’s doctor; that was the waiting room where Tim would wait, listen to a little pocket radio, sometimes chat with other patients. I tried to continue but didn’t last more than a few days. I just couldn’t go into that waiting room, not even into that building. They said they understood.

Gradually I could turn off the lights at night, drive down those streets again, shop in those grocery aisles again. But there are still some things I don’t do. While a year later I donated most of Tim’s clothes to shelters, I have never thrown away some of Tim’s belongings. I kept a collection of his favorite neckties, ties I had bought for him. I kept his South Carolina ID card, his wallet, his cologne, his watch. I sleep in one of his undershirts.

People die. But grief? Grief never dies.

Some people will get this. Some won’t, the ones who think you’ll just “get over it.” Who say “Time heals all wounds.” No it doesn’t. Time may make the pain less, like a fading bruise. But underneath the invisible damage is still there, not throbbing as much but still there. Until…

          I never recovered – but I did heal.

There is a solution to grief. Even if grief doesn’t die, God can heal all wounds. Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit know exactly how grief feels. Accepting their understanding, comfort and healing is how I have survived intact, one more day, one more week, one more year.

I began writing a blog about heaven some months after Tim died. Maybe reading through those posts will help somebody else. Here’s my favorite one:  https://speakingofheaven.wordpress.com/2010/02/13/touching-base/

What is truth?

What is truth?

“What is truth?” retorted Pilate. With this he went out again to the Jews gathered there and said, “I find no basis for a charge against him.” (John 18:38 NIV)

“Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

Think on these things.

The true things… the truth.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Phil. 4:8 KJV)

Why?

Because “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (Prov. 18:21)

And, whatever is in your heart will eventually come out of your mouth. Those words will either create, maintain the status quo, or destroy something: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” (Matt. 12:34)

What things are true?

Some of my favorite true things:

• Jesus’s words are spirit and life – “It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.” (John 6:63)

• “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

• “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.” (John 10:10)  We have an enemy, a thief (and murderer, and accuser, and liar, and deceiver), who does a lot of his destruction with whispered words like half-truths, innuendos, rumors, outright lies:

– You’re not really saved
– You’ll never be any good
– You can’t do it
– God doesn’t love you
– God did all those bad things to you

• It’s our choice whether to listen to his lies and deceptions or not; we can resist him.  “Neither give place to the devil.” (Eph. 4:27) “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

• We will be judged by the words we speak – “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” (Matt. 12:36-37)

• So don’t repeat any of the devil’s lies to yourself or to anyone else, whether they are about you yourself or someone else. “Do not let any unwholesome talk (corrupt communication, KJV) come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Eph. 4:29 NIV)

• Instead, repeat God’s creative words to yourself, such as the following, as often as needed until they get into your heart / memory banks:

• “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” (Eph. 6:10) We have the choice to be strong.

• “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Phil. 4:13)

• “God shall supply all your (my) need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:13, 19)

• I am the righteousness of God! ” For he hath made him [to be] sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.” (2 Cor. 5:21)

• One more fact that I know is the truth: I am a work in progress! “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 1:6)

There are many more of my favorite true things, but these seemed like good reminders for today.

How to heal the sick

Esther's Petition

Jesus healed the sick. He commanded the disciples to heal the sick, and to teach  future disciples (us) to do the same.

“How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.” (Acts 10:38 NIV)

“Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed; and he healed them.” (Matthew 4:23-24; it does not say how, it just says he healed them all. Every sickness and every disease.)

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in…

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